Feeling trapped in a bitter marriage is just torment. Especially when you are convinced that it will never change.
If this is what you are going through, I know exactly how you feel my friend.
First of all, just pray and seek God for counseling. Get help from someone who knows how to fix broken marriages and read books together. If your spouse does NOT want to cooperate in these fields, then I suggest you read the rest of my blog post.
You see, I did everything I could to make my wife happy, and yet there was always something dreadfully wrong.
I felt that she was content with being around me or spending the rest of her life with me.
We were always fighting and it never bore any fruits of righteousness.
We bought an RV and traveled across the country thinking that we would start new somewhere else. We were wrong.
We fought a lot, which produced tension and stress for a long time.
Did we have some sweet moments? I say not enough.
When we got to the Pacific West coast, my wife had to fly back for a family emergency. We didn't end up moving out west and had virtually spent all our money. I barely had enough to drive back to the East coast.
When I was around Ohio state, I called my wife and told her that we were separating and that I was taking the RV down to my family in Massachusetts and staying there for the winter.
I heard every bad husband speech along with the well-rehearsed speeches when I arrived in NY to drop off her stuff.
We split up and I called my mother who already knew that our marriage was in trouble.
I can truly say that separating from the source of my stress has given me the freedom to refocus my thoughts on Jesus Christ rather than trying to make an unhappy person happy.
You can never make someone else truly happy. Only they can make themselves happy. You and you alone possess the power to change your thoughts and make changes in your life.
Are you married to someone who you know 10 years down the road you still won't be able to get along with them?
Here's what you need to do first:
1) Have a plan where you are going to live for a while.
Whether it's your parent's spare bedroom or a friend who has offered a place to live for a while, you need to find a place where you can go for a few months maybe longer.
2) Man up, and tell her what you are going to do.
Don't listen to the crying because you know that she only uses this to get what she wants rather than reflects on how poorly she or he has treated you.
3) Take massive action and move out!
Believe me, I know that this will hurt not only you but your wife as well.
But what is worse? Arguing to each other's face every weekend? Or collecting your thoughts and clearing your head?
Look, you can't wait for someone else to change in order for you to be happy. You've got to make the call. YOU'VE got to make the decision.
To this day one of my all time favorite quotes still comes from The Lord of The Rings. Frodo Baggins is feeling the full weight of carrying the evilest ring of power. Frodo vents his exhaustion out to Gandalf and says, “I wish the ring had never come to me! I wish none of this had ever happened!” Then Gandalf said something so impressive that to this day it gives my chills and just takes my breath away. He said,
“So do all who live to see such times, but that is NOT for them to decide. All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you.”
I love this quote with all my heart and soul. It can be passed down to a thousand generations and will still make an impact on people's lives! Let this quote just sink in and rest in your thoughts! It's in the smallest moments of time that we are given the power to make a decision. This is overlooked, disrespected, and is always the furthest thing from important to a vast majority.
Since I fell in love with this quote, I have meditated on it day and night. All I have to do is decide what to do with the precious time that is given to me! I don't want a moment wasted. And I mean glossing over a powerful moment of victory for someone else. I can't allow myself the luxury of laziness when it's time to make the decision.
My father said something to all of us just before he died and I'll never forget it. He said that he had no regrets, he “Just wished he had a job that he really enjoyed.” I just took what he said and ran with it. I went full steam ahead to discover what I love most about life and create a future that changes lives.
Is this what you were looking for? Leave a comment and share your favorite quote of all time!
If you continuously keep trying at one particular thing, eventually you will get a result. But you don't want to keep trying to plug away at things that just aren't working when you have been giving it a go for 90 days straight.
A personal goal of mine is to break free from this 9 to 5 job and work from home. In order for me to do that, I MUST and WILL stay consistent for 90 days.
All we have to do is model what other people are doing and we will get their results. Make sense so far?
So if you like a person's results and would LOVE to be where they are, just model whatever they are doing!
When you aim tirelessly for freedom, you will eventually get there.
I speak with people all the time who made it their goal to move here to America. It's all they ever talked about back in their home country, and here they are.
When you surround yourself with like-minded people, you're thinking will be the average of THAT group. So it's very very important that you surround yourself and ENGAGE with the people who inspire you the most.
If you see someone who is succeeding in life and you ask them how you can get to be where they are, you will probably be astonished and perhaps even balk a little at their answer.