Feeling trapped in a bitter marriage is just torment. Especially when you are convinced that it will never change.
If this is what you are going through, I know exactly how you feel my friend.
First of all, just pray and seek God for counseling. Get help from someone who knows how to fix broken marriages and read books together. If your spouse does NOT want to cooperate in these fields, then I suggest you read the rest of my blog post.
You see, I did everything I could to make my wife happy, and yet there was always something dreadfully wrong.
I felt that she was content with being around me or spending the rest of her life with me.
We were always fighting and it never bore any fruits of righteousness.
We bought an RV and traveled across the country thinking that we would start new somewhere else. We were wrong.
We fought a lot, which produced tension and stress for a long time.
Did we have some sweet moments? I say not enough.
When we got to the Pacific West coast, my wife had to fly back for a family emergency. We didn't end up moving out west and had virtually spent all our money. I barely had enough to drive back to the East coast.
When I was around Ohio state, I called my wife and told her that we were separating and that I was taking the RV down to my family in Massachusetts and staying there for the winter.
I heard every bad husband speech along with the well-rehearsed speeches when I arrived in NY to drop off her stuff.
We split up and I called my mother who already knew that our marriage was in trouble.
I can truly say that separating from the source of my stress has given me the freedom to refocus my thoughts on Jesus Christ rather than trying to make an unhappy person happy.
You can never make someone else truly happy. Only they can make themselves happy. You and you alone possess the power to change your thoughts and make changes in your life.
Are you married to someone who you know 10 years down the road you still won't be able to get along with them?
Here's what you need to do first:
1) Have a plan where you are going to live for a while.
Whether it's your parent's spare bedroom or a friend who has offered a place to live for a while, you need to find a place where you can go for a few months maybe longer.
2) Man up, and tell her what you are going to do.
Don't listen to the crying because you know that she only uses this to get what she wants rather than reflects on how poorly she or he has treated you.
3) Take massive action and move out!
Believe me, I know that this will hurt not only you but your wife as well.
But what is worse? Arguing to each other's face every weekend? Or collecting your thoughts and clearing your head?
Look, you can't wait for someone else to change in order for you to be happy. You've got to make the call. YOU'VE got to make the decision.
Imagine waking up and your first words were spoken with the feeling of a grateful heart. Think of all the amazing wonders that have happened in your life right up until this moment, and speak with thanksgiving. Bring the sacrifices of Praise from your lips unto the ears of the Living God. You are alive right now and are most certainly called with a purpose. Today is your chance to touch one more person's life. The problems you have overcome, is the solution for the people who are just beginning to face them right now. By now you are beginning to see a greater opportunity here.
What's Your Purpose in Life?
To love your neighbor as you love yourself is the only way a community will be at its glorious peak. How would it make you feel to be totally surrounded by strangers who waved to you in kindness one after the other? This habit will make a tremendous impact not only on the lives of grateful people, but eventually the ungrateful and the hurting. As the bondage in their lives will break down, you will feel the effects of serving those in need. Personally, I long to see struggling depressed people's lives change forever. Because they don't have to live every day with the dread of the morning. Or to hear them say, “It's Friday, it's finally over.” Only to sink back into that deep abyss all over again.
On a Spiritual level, they can have everlasting life freely. This ticket to Heaven is the Powerful Blood of Jesus Christ. Not only that, but He gives a down payment right at the moment of faith. He puts His Holy Spirit inside you, and there is no second guessing this deeply peaceful presence, of your Divine Creator. In order for you to discover this Amazing Grace, you must embrace an intelligent faith. You need the problem solving Religion of Jesus Christ!
With a word, our LORD drops our jaws! Everyday, Christians all throughout history till this present moment, bare witness to this one testimony: “I sought the LORD, and He heard me! And delivered me from ALL my fears! ~ Psalm 34:4. When our hearts are afraid, we cry out to the Living God, and He hears our prayers. My mother is a widow, and she never stops praising God for His continual provision. Turn from any sin in your life, and call upon the name of the LORD Jesus Christ!
Does God Care About Your Financial Future?
His plan is to also give you a financial shield for this temporary life. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” Speak with thanksgiving when you are concerned about this topic. Many people go their entire lives in the fear of “what if this happens or what if that happens”. The fear of torment is the garbage of the mind. Fear only breaks your focus on discovering the task at hand. And what should be your financial focus? Financial freedom. As long as you are serving the needs of the people, you will always be financially free. The amount of money you make reflects the impact you are making on people's lives. You must SOLVE their problems by providing the SOLUTION.
Think of the impact you will now have on complete strangers when you will guide them both Spiritually and Financially! Not only will their lives be changed, but the people who love them will marvel at the transformation of a brand new person. They will see it, and be completely blown away. The number of responses will be countless. Finally, the admiration and respect of friends and family will be endless. They will look back and remember who brought the people together for the family name.
Your breakthrough is closer than you think! All you've got to do is first identify your main problem. And no it's quite obvious that the behavior of other people do not control your life. YOU control your thoughts! YOU are the only one behind the helm! I believe that you have the potential for greatness. You are designed for life everlasting, and this is NOT something you should just gloss over. Look at what's missing in your life. Are you the dad who hardly says yes to going out to dinner with your family? Or do your kids have that spirit of adventure because you are immersing their thoughts with yours? How often to you say, “Let's try something bold and daring!”
By now you will make the decision, and change the course of your life forever. Each and every one of your family's lives will follow in your footsteps. Your attitude will start a burning desire inside them one by one. Their goal will then be to help others get out of their troubled situation. You see what you need to do next, and solve the problem. Getting started is all about educating yourself. When you model what people do, you will get their results, and success leaves clues. What is left behind is a trail to financial diversity. You will become familiar as to why people love to buy things, and will make your life so much easier with multiple income streams instead of just one.
LORD, Let Me Live Another Day!
This is my prayer for myself, my friends, and my family. Because I am asking the Living God for the chance to make a difference in their lives and in your life. By now you are looking for hope that's predictable and secure. Think of all the amazing wonders you will see when you will make the best financial decision of your life. Now is the time to act, CLICK HERE to begin: http://rwborrows.bizbuildermastery.co/
Leave a comment below now and let's chat about this!
It's miserable, but fundamentally flawed beliefs will paralyze relationships. And that's why cutting people out of your life who you love and want what's best for them, really, really, sucks. I hope you never have to go through that process. It's so painful, to have a spouse, family member, or even a friend who are hurting deep inside and make it their goal to hurt you. If we are honest with ourselves, we should see if the problem lies first with the inner man. And yes everybody needs work, but relationships mature when people agree to disagree. But it's so hard to see loved ones protect beliefs that only destroy themselves.
What is happening throughout the conversation? Are we both toxic? Who are we trying to behave like? Let's just laugh about it already! It comes down to who we are modeling, because we want their results. Of a truth, our habits are a combination of the 5 people we hang around with most. If they are getting good results, so will we. If they aren't getting any results at all, then the blind will lead the blind into a ditch.
Everybody has needs, but we make our decisions based on our wants. We want more time freedom and would rather work independently than for an employer. The thought of becoming completely debt free is withing our reach. We have found joy in the past from giving generously to those who are in need. These are the things we crave, but how do we overcome the most difficult obstacles that stand in our way?
Communities. People who have been there and done that before us. People who listen and try not to interject speculation, but redirect with understanding. The cure is in the relationships with those who have gone before us. Would you learn how to bake a cake from mechanical engineering book? Of course not. Neither should we seek advice from counselors who just don't get it.
I'm talking about getting marriage advice from people who have been divorced more than once. If we model their behavior, we're going to get their results. If we follow people who have no friends and seek their wisdom on how to make or find friends, we're going to get their results. The proof is in the denial.
Being tied closely to these kinds of people will drain the life out of you. So DON'T follow them. People like this absolutely love depression because it gives them a sense of validation and it's readily accessible. When the opportunity arises to complain, they feel valuable. It's wrong. It's not right. It's not good. They come to us all the time with advice that doesn't even work for them.
Of course no one is diminishing legitimate sorrow and misery, but don't let other people's need to feel miserable around you take over your life. If they don't stop posting Facebook comments, leaving nasty text messages, or voice mails for that matter, or just making us feel bad about ourselves, these are the ones we have to cut off from our lives.
The Unfortunate Benefit of Cutting People Out of Your Life
Again, modeling people is how we can get their results. And if you are looking for guidance, and are at your wits end on what to do, go to a friend who you know has overcome the obstacles you are going through, and do EXACTLY what the did in the past! Build stronger friendships around the friends of those people, and you will see the benefit of cutting off people in our lives who are choking us to death, and embracing those who genuinely care for us.
Don't know where to look? I would start at a good Bible believing Christian church. With the help of Google, now we can research a church before we even step foot in it! Most churches have their own website, and will share valuable information that is very inviting for people like you and me. We can see events that are coming up in the summer time, and the schedule for their Bible studies. Believe me when I tell you that if you are going through bad relationships, the people who have gone before you, go to church for answers and have found them.
Be encouraged and I challenge you to make it out to church and find some new friends!
Thanks For Tuning In!
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